Aku tak perlu b…

Aku tak perlu bilang, bukan? Kalau urusan perasaan, perempuan itu lebih mudah ber-isyarat daripada berkata- kata. Harusnya kamu tahu itu. Perempuan dilindungi Tuhan dengan rasa malu, apalagi untuk hal yang berhubungan dengan perasaan. Jadi, jangan pernah menunggu perempuan untuk mengungkapkan apa yang sedang dirasakannya, kamu harus mengerti isyaratnya. Mungkin, itulah salah satu alasan kenapa perempuan lebih suka laki-laki yang pengertian; agar hidupnya jauh lebih dimudahkan.

Genap, Nazrul Anwar

me

I can have it all; I can become the party girl. I can drink and smoke cigarettes, I can go clubbing; I can even take of my hijab and start wearing skinny jeans and short dresses/ I can start putting my hair up in all types of elegant hairstyles. I can start putting makeup on again and wear high heels. I can talk to all the boys I want, when I went. I can gossip with the girls, I can start swearing, I can laugh at people, I can not give a damn` about anything or anyone and just be who I want to be.

But I am a servant of Allah. This world was not meant for me to enjoy it for its temporary bliss, it was meant to be enjoyed in every way; for the sake of Allah. Meaning I will fall, I will cry, I will falter, I will feel like I am not enjoying myself; I will feel like a stranger amongst the people, I’ll feel like a weirdo. I will; but I was created to serve Allah. Not feed my desires , not become “worldly” . I await the everlasting abode, to be pleased. I’m not going to run after something as temporary as this world.

I don’t care if I’m the only girl that doesn’t drink or smoke, or is still a virgin. Alhamdulilah I still cover, I still care. I pray, I fast, I serve Allah. I serve Allah. I serve Allah ; because I am a servant to Him. I serve Allah. I am in the world; I am not of it. May Allah guide all these people, and guide me first and foremost. Aamiin.

*jakarta, please be nice to me. please be nice to my iman, ikhsan and islam*

These will be the people that understand

I suppose we’ll never really know people, or know them at all. We all build homes with several rooms that have hidden rooms filled with drawers and cabinets of files that enclose our secrets, thoughts, feelings, emotions, whispers, obsessions, desires, and everything we ensure never sees the light of day, even to our most beloved of friends or spouses, or family.

It’s not that we don’t want people to know, it’s that we just want people to understand us although we have homes upon homes filled with rooms with hidden rooms that contain drawers and cabinets of files that can never be known to anyone else.

We just want to be understood in a way where we don’t have to explain ourselves or reveal our pasts or reasons as to why we do what we do the way we do it.

And the very people that itch to know about others, are so frightened to be known themselves, that they blame you for being closed. Difficult. Hard. They beg you to be soft, to give them keys to your homes, access to your rooms, codes to open your files. They don’t care to understand you, they just want to know.

Wait for the people that don’t try to decipher your codes, but understand why it is you have a code in the first place. Wait for the people who knock on your door even though they know it’s unlocked. Wait for the people that choose to stay even when they come across the files that enclose your secrets, thoughts, feelings, emotions, whispers, obsessions, desires, and everything we ensured never sees the light of day. These will be the people that understand.