Hello my fellow bloggers and readers, it’s been a long time since the last time i ‘really’ write in this blog, not just doing some reblogs or rewrite some good article. I’ve been so busy with my marriage life and my new business. Sometimes i kinda miss to write out my feelings and ideas through this blog, but you know, i always procrastinate and end up write nothing hehehe.
At first, it was so hard for me to open up about my struggles. I was ashamed, i always think that people won’t understand and i don’t need to release my stress by sharing story with others. But, one day i ask myself, why i must be ashamed of my story, if i had a chance to inspire others? So, finally i decided to write again. This time, i will frequently (aamiin. i hope sooo hahaha) to write about my amazing journey with my husband to become a parents. Before you ask, No, i’m not pregnant (yet) hehe. We’re still doing some pregnancy program in Fertility Clinic in Bandung and i hope through this blog, you all can also send your best wishes for me and my husband. We really appreciate that.
So, here it is….
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you would do anything to get it? Would you spend all of your time and money just to get that one thing? Have you ever felt a yearning that would never go away? Would you pray so often and so intense that tears would come to your eyes?
I always knew I wanted children – maybe because I come from a large family. When I was looking for a husband, how he dealt with children was very important to me. In fact, seeing how my husband handled someone’s newborn baby was what made me interested in talking to him about marriage. After being married about two years we started trying to have children. We tried for about one year to get me pregnant. With no success, we went to a reproductive health clinic so my husband and I could get tested. (It is normal to take that long to conceive, so, unless there is an obvious problem, most clinics will not test before the couple has tried for one year). Many different tests were done. The doctors only found a minor problem that they assumed would be easy to deal with. We thought that I would get pregnant quickly and were very hopeful.
We’ve been trying for a year now. and yet, there are still no ‘two strips’ :). There was some sadness and disappointment; but then again, we just need more patience. We still kept trying, but had accepted Allah’s will – whatever it may be.
“To Allah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills, and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both males and females and He renders barren whomever He wills. Verily, He is the all-Knower and is Able to do all things.” [Quran 42:49-50]
It was a reminder that whatever was to happen would be the will of Allah and that I would accept whatever he had planned for me and my husband.
My humble advice to anyone trying: be informed about the drugs and the procedures, be prepared to have this as a big part of your life (for a while anyway InsyaAllah), know that there will be ups and downs, be patient with “fertile” people’s advice (especially when they try not to think about it, but every is structured around shots or ultrasounds), try and appreciate of gifts/opportunities Allah has given you, and most of all know that Allah is with you and He is the best planner your life. Always keep your spirit up! 🙂
No matter how much we have, we human beings always have the capacity to make ourselves miserable over what we don’t have. But we can also make a choice to be satisfied with what Allah has given us. We can look at couples with tons of perfect children and get stuck in thinking about what we want. Or we can think of all other blessings that Allah gave us. It is about perspective and gratitude.
Don’t forget to thank Allah for all that we have.
Mankind is tested in many ways. Infertility is obviously a burdensome trial given to certain men and women, and those who remain patient and steadfast in faith will be the successful. “Indeed, Allah is with those who are patient.”
Keep trying. Keep fighting. Keep believing.
Because nothing worth having comes easy.
see you on the next post 🙂